The race to medicate women's pleasure

The race to medicate women’s pleasure

Inspired by my courage to talk about lubes in my last post, I’m now going to talk about (are you ready?) orgasms! Yikes, what’s going on with me? Well, I think I am going to chalk it up to the new found freedom of hitting my forties and realizing that there are fewer sacred cows out there. Life is too short to worry about what other people think; I’ve come to realize that at this stage of my life it is more important to find ways to enjoy life, and, if I can, speak out for the benefit of women who are listening!

What has got me riled up lately is my interest in the new documentary Orgasm Inc.

“Extraordinary behind-the-scenes access reveals a drug company’s fevered race to develop the first FDA-approved Viagra for women – and offers a humorous but sobering look inside the cash-fueled pharmaceutical industry.” – Hot Docs Film Festival

While I’m sure everyone who owns an email account has been spammed by numerous Viagra type ads, I’m guessing the next wave of spam will come from a miracle pink pill treating (so called) Female Sexual Dysfunction. It appears the medical industry is in a race to medicalize women’s pleasure by convincing us that women are ‘sick’ because they can’t orgasm successfully. Sadly, I think I would have bought that argument years ago, but thanks to my increasing openness about sex and pleasure (and great products like Hathor), I’m going to get on my soapbox and say “screw the labels and stop over medicating our bodies“.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not suggesting that women do not suffer from physical and psychological sexual problems – I am just strongly against Big Pharma and doctors pushing a movement towards making women feel less adequate in the bedroom by labeling it as some clinically diagnosed disorder.

So what am I suggesting? Well, instead of going to the doctor for a prescription or buying into the suggestion there is something wrong with us, we need to start talking openly about the issue and find ways to help each other. Of course I know that’s not easy. More so than menstruation, sex is a very personal subject matter. But in the same way we could benefit by talking more openly about menstruation and removing the shame and stigma around it (and suggesting healthier and more positive ways to deal with our period), we need to engage in conversations about positive and healthy sex. Be curious, seek education and talk to your partner about ways to improve your experience!

So ladies, what great books, videos and products have you found helpful in your personal sexual journey? Who are good role models out there on this topic?

PS: Be on the look out for screenings of Orgasm Inc. in your area. Vancouverites: there will be a screening at SFU on April 29, 2011.

“Orgasm Inc.”: The flawed quest for a “female Viagra” (salon.com)

http://www.bloggymcbloggerstein.blogspot.com Bloggy McBloggerstein

I don’t have many sacred cows either (as a quick look around my blog would prove – ha!) and this is a subject that’s near & dear to my heart. Orgasms are awesome and I generally have one every day, unless I’m sick. I actually wrote a blog post on what I call “The Best Vibrator in History” and that post prompted several friends purchase the same vibe. At least two have reported that their expectations were fully met and that, yes, it was Magic!

If you’re interested, here’s the blog post: http://bloggymcbloggerstein.blogspot.com/2011/03/best-vibrator-in-history.html

As far as medicating women to help them acheive orgasm is concerned, well, I don’t have a problem with it at all. I have a friend who has only had two orgasms in her entire life. TWO! She just doesn’t get why sex (or masturbation)is such a big deal and, if this would help her and women like her, I think it would be a good thing and a most welcome addition to the medicine cabinet.
http://www.lunapads.com Suzanne

@bloggy. Thanks for chiming in and great blog. If lubes, vibrators or medicine can help, bring it on! But I am super skeptical of Big Pharma (check out the big payments they are making http://m.foxbusiness.com/quickPage.html?page=32811&content=50164838&pageNum=-1) who make it a habit of trying to convince the mainstream that we are sick and putting out stats like 43% of women are “suffer” from FSD.
Colleen

Although I don’t agree with the idea that not being able to orgasm all the time is wrong and needs medicating (because it’s fine, really!) I do appreciate that at least they’re bringing to light the idea that women have a right to an orgasm. I’ve known a lot of women who feel like taking pleasure in sex makes them less feminine, slutty, ect. and that they shouldn’t ever act like they enjoy it. STILL! In the year 2011! So while I don’t like Big Pharma, I at least appreciate their effort to make it sound like women SHOULD be orgasming and that it’s a normal, expected part of being alive.
http://www.lifeofcarla.blogspot.com Carla

I want to point out the huge impact routine infant circumcision has had on the sexually active male population, and that there is plenty of reason to believe that a great deal of sexual problems where people are asking, “what’s wrong with her?” are actually the result of the negative effects of circumcising men.

http://www.thewholenetwork.org/8/category/erectile%20dysfucntion/1.html

http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/ (warning: graphic images)

It really bothers me that people are looking at women, yet again, assuming that their bodies are naturally diseased and dysfunctional, and then assuming they have to do something to fix the broken female anatomy, rather than looking at other possible causes for sexual problems.
http://www.lifeofcarla.blogspot.com Carla

I also think that if a woman isn’t distressed by a lack of orgasm or lack of interest in sexual activity, then we shouldn’t be looking at her as if she needs fixing. If it really bothers her, and/or if it’s negatively affecting her relationships, then she deserves help of course, but I am disturbed by the assumption that all women should want sex the exact same amount as everybody else. Diversity is beautiful. We shouldn’t be pathologizing that.

Other than that, I’m supportive of almost anything that can be done to help women who really feel they have a problem and they want to improve it. I’d go for options that don’t involve medicating yourself (lubes, vibrators, therapy, games, erotica) because we never really know what these drugs will do to us in the long run. And I completely agree with Colleen, “I do appreciate that at least they’re bringing to light the idea that women have a right to an orgasm.”
Hecuba

Abolish compulsory sexual intercourse because this is why so many heterosexual women cannot experience satisfactory sexual pleasure.

Or to put another way – male centric definitions of ‘real sex’ continue to proclaim the lie that ‘real sex only happens when the penis is thrusting inside a woman’s vulva/anus!’

Feminists long ago discovered these male-centric lies but they still keep re-occurring because goddess forbid women challenge male-centric claims concerning women’s sexuality.

By the way the only ones benefiting will be Big Pharma and men because women’s sexuality is obviously innately faulty and always in dire need of ‘male’ intervention/interpretation and fixing! Sexual intercourse is a reproductive act and contrary to claims most women do not experience sexual pleasure but never mind – men supposedly know more about this issue than women.
Julie

In my married life I have noticed that my husband and all of our male friends will suggest that any time a woman is upset or sad or…well anything at all, that her problems can be solved by “a good humping.” Perfect examlpe of Hecuba’s final paragraph. Why do men think having a penis means that “The Penis” can and will “fix” everything?

Any way though…
Post baby I did find find myself not as able to reach climax as before, but this is pretty normal. What I found to help was this:
http://www.omyinternational.com/files/lotions.php

And since women are better understood by women, lets try and look for solutions created by women here:
http://www.drlauraberman.com/public/aboutthebermancenter.aspx
Julie

Just found this article:
http://old.bermansexualhealth.com/vaginismus/female-sexual-dysfunction-4.html

my favorite quote:
In those patients who have never experienced an orgasm, sex therapy and support groups to educate women about their bodies and learning to appreciate their bodily responses may be helpful.
http://www.slieducation.com Julia Saunders

Hey Suzanne,
quoting your: “So ladies, what great books, videos and products have you found helpful in your personal sexual journey? Who are good role models out there on this topic?”

I’d like to suggest that I am a fabulous resource in Vancouver and on-line. Check out my resources page especially:
http://slieducation.wordpress.com/

I am here to serve!
Julia
Claire

I <3 Female Orgasm! http://www.ilovefemaleorgasm.com/
21

Recently my friends and I had the most fantastic conversation about sex. We are all married (save one, who got the education she needed to be so much better prepared for marriage night this week), young parents or pregnant, and all share the same Christian beliefs and values. It was at a dinner party and a few girls (soon enough grew to all) started chatting and asking each other ‘Are you a tiger in the bedroom?’ It brought about great amounts of laughter and slowly opened up to conversations about orgasms, female ‘ejaculation’, mood music, sex toys, lubes, positions, easy orgasms and difficult ones, dirty talk and cussing.

Many of these things we talked about and shared could so easily be distressing and shameful, yet we all brought it out into the open and gave each other tips and suggestions, encouragement and new ideas. Everyone felt so accepted and no one felt isolated or rejected even when we realized how different we all were.

It is a difficult subject to broach, but once we were there, we all had such a great time! And it was 10 times better than any Cosmo magazine.

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